Keep calm. But don't carry on.

Do you have the Godfather Gene?

When people fail to show you the respect you deserve, do you find yourself wanting to make them offers they can't refuse?  Through gritted teeth, in a rasping Italian-American whisper?  I know I do.

There's an unwritten contract between presenter and audience.  A key clause in this contract is that the audience will give you their full attention during your presentation.  Or at least, have the courtesy of appearing to do so.  Failing to respect this is a breach of contract.

For example, there you are delivering your state-of-the-nation report on why the company needs more coffee machines.  And suddenly Maureen starts fiddling with her mobile phone.

In Maureen's mind, there's a perfectly legitimate reason for this criminal breach.  She's booking a hairdresser's appointment.

(A wise guy might say that, if people are fiddling with their phones, it's your fault for not making your presentation more compelling.  But you and I know that if there were any justice in this world, it would be bed-time for Maureen, with a horse's head to keep her company.)

Here's the point.  As in the streets of Little Italy, so in your presentation.  If someone breaks the contract, you have to be seen to do something about it.  Because if you don't seem to care whether people listen to you, it suggests you have nothing worth saying.  And if you have nothing worth saying, why should anyone listen?

Carrying on regardless is not an option.  When one person starts fiddling, and gets away with it, other people start fiddling.  Pretty soon everyone's fiddling.  You've got to nip it in the bud.

The question is: how?

Option #1: The Sicilian Defence. Have your boys arrange Maureen's withdrawal from the room in a hail of bullets.  Satisfying, yes. But as the smoke clears and the emergency services arrive, you may find it hard to pick up where you left off.

Option #2: Engage Sarcasm. Say something cutting so Maureen gets the point.  'ARE WE TRENDING??!!' you quip in a choked voice, shaking with rage.  No: mobile phone fiddlers seldom get the point.  Your anger will just alienate the audience.  You have to keep calm.

Option #3: Rise Above.  The best thing you can do is to take action so that Maureen's fiddling ceases to be your problem and becomes a problem for her.  And to a lesser extent, for the audience.

A problem for Maureen, because you're about to make her the centre of attention.  A problem for the audience, because her fiddling is holding up proceedings.

To achieve this, all you have to do is (a) gaze at Maureen and (b) stop speaking.  (It helps if you can smile happily while you're doing this.)

The audience will notice the sudden hush and look to you to see what's going on.  They'll see you smiling at Maureen.  Maureen will look up to find all eyes on her.  She'll mutter an apology and put down her phone.  You'll smile graciously, thank her and carry on.  All this can take less than five seconds.  And it requires nothing from you but silence, a look and a smile.

This technique works just as well for other events that threaten to derail your presentation.   People whispering to each other instead of listening to you.  People falling asleep.  People actually snoring.

If you appear unfazed and unflustered, the audience will act as your ally against the offender.  For no other reason than they want you to get the presentation over and done with.

So keep calm, but don't carry on.  Not until you've dealt with the problem.